26 December 2007

Direction

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened.

-Douglas Adams


So strange. People are so strange. For some of you, I have been working at the airport for awhile. It is driving me mad I think. People are so strange. I'm really indifference at times when dealing with people who can't really understand why things happen. I suppose though, that all of us have at one point or another wondered why something happens to them -- but then for some reason I tend to find a meaning or a purpose in getting delayed on my trip, meeting a certain person on a bus or waiting in line, and finding that magazine article that seems to give you direction for the next week in your life. At least that has been my experience at the airport.

I never really thought I would work for an airline, and I hope to not be for much longer. My initial thoughts were that it would allow me to enjoy one of the things I like most in this world, a bit easier, which is traveling. Instead, it has taken one of the things that defines me as a person and has belittled it, morphed it and made it somehow less romantic that I tended to make it before. Traveling to me is what I am here for. To be anywhere but where I am at. My friend B always has this quote "Be where your at" but for me, that is one of the most difficult things to accept. I keep moving around -- changing the pace of my life and the surroundings I am in. To me, it is the only real way to live -- understand and learn about not only myself, but this place and that.

There are certain places where I have felt really at home though. Sydney was one of them, and Adelaide another. I also feel really comfortable in a few U.S. cities like Portland and San Diego, but for some reason they just never really feel new, real or unique. Places are a mystery and living in one too long just does me in -- especially one that is tiring in its attitude towards the world (a perfect example of this is my current city, Phoenix, a deathtrap for those of upward mobility and world mobility). I long for some time in Paris, Singapore, Cape Town and maybe even London. I drool over living on a boat, sailing constantly around the world and wondering the shores, all the while keeping a notebook of my favourite spots, haunts and inspirational places. I make fanciful plans to travel to Iceland, Norway and Dubai (only one has came through so far) and long for the days when I can lounge my way around the equator.

A change in direction is in the works, drifting through my head and my surroundings. Lately, horiscopes have mentioned things like "a change of pace is coming" or "look out for a new career move" and even "your life is going to take a new direction". I keep waiting on these to come round, and yet, I ponder what those changes will bring in my life in way of new friends, places and ideas. I feel this year will be one of total discovery and challenge, as well as deep humility and change.