Its true, the 80's are back.

Impressions are misleading. Old adage, but useful sometimes.

Sitting here, rainy day, thinking forward and about some film's, past events, experiences and more. Thinking that, often we have thoughts about our past that seem to haunt us, or, cause us to think about regrets oftentimes leading us into some sort of depressive mindset. These types of experiences are the ones that have guided us? The ones that have changed us into what it is that we are? No, that is too simple, and easy and realistic. Most of those times have given us a clue as to what it is that we seek at a deeper level.

I need to be on a team. I need a group of people to work with towards a common goal. I need to be necessary for this group to function and I need to be appreciated. These have not been met in my past jobs, and its necessary for me to find a job, vocation or hobby like this in order to fulfill some sort of void in my life. I long for those sort of moments where you can look back and say, here is what I have done and it has led to this. I can only sight examples from t.v. and movies. 1. Lost -- a group of people working towards a common goal (although that goal is now a bit muffled and has changed, in the beginning, it was different). 2. Breakfast club -- a group brought together from different backgrounds who find that they have commonalities in the end. This is a bit "idealistic" but still, it supplies an import point of what it is I'm trying to describe. 3. Sometimes, I get this feeling from the Harry Potter movies and books. A group of people who rely on each other to get to a certain point, to defeat something, to create something or just grow closer.

I don' t want to live in a commune, this is not the point. The point is that I'm keen to work on a movie, a t.v. show, a house a project of a creative type where I can see the end, I know what I have to do, and I know that the people I work with all rely on me as I rely on them. How can I find this? I have a few idea: journalist, entertainment industry of some sort, magazine writer or even being a tour guide. I don't have any better thoughts on this, but they are all things that I've dabbled in, and have always been the times when I feel the best about what I'm doing, about what I have accomplished and the best about myself. I need to find this again, and I need to and will be proactive about it.